1) Haileybury's keeper is obviously not a Brummie
Back in September 2002, Peter Enckleman ensured his presence in all lazily put together "football bloopers" compilations until the end of time when he allowed Olaf Mellberg's throw in to slip under his boot and into the net during a Birmingham vs Villa derby. Hilarity ensued. What is usually forgotten about this incident is that the goal should not have stood. The ball was direct from a throw-in, and the hapless Finn had failed to even lay a stud on the ball, so embarrassment should have been the only fall out. Ten years on, and many divisions down, Haileybury's keeper caused us to remember this incident, when he grabbed at an attacking long-throw on his line, only to spill the ball into the net. The safest thing he could have done in the circumstance, was duck under the ball and allow it to drop unaided into the middle of his net. Doing nothing would have saved the day, assuming the ref wasn't as hopeless as David Ellery was a decade ago. As Dr. Nigel would doubtless agree, the rule for keepers is the same as the one for doctors: 'first, do no harm'.
Here's Pete's moment of infamy if you'd like to refresh yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18QsjFUquD8
2) It's a lot easier with a balanced team
Perhaps the main difference between last week's defeat and this week's victory was the better distribution of attacking and defensive players. Against Haileybury, everyone played in their usual position, whereas Aldenham at home saw Rob England and Pete Fuller amongst others having stints as part of the front 3 as we desperately tried to rotate the team. Being thrown into unfamiliar roles just makes everything that little bit harder, and contributed to a disjointed second half performance. Put everyone in the right place and suddenly we look like a team again, as our dominant second half showing on Saturday proved. As an anthropomorphic advertising shame-vacuum might say, 'simples'.
3) A good penalty is one that goes in. That's all there is to it.
As per the match report, Mace's mishit spot-kick found the net mainly by dint of the keeper commencing his dive a full half an hour before the ball was struck. But we can't take the mick too much - a 'well placed' penalty may well have been saved. The only thing we can be sure of, is that overthinking the guessing game is the most efficient route to making a tit of yourself at penalty time, as this example shows nicely: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-psa7Utw4JM
4) We only sing when we're winning
Three points in the bag, the car containing Merriott, Prichard and Duncan treated themselves to a richly enjoyed and wholly unironic sing-along of Ocean Drive by 90s era doyens of beige pop The Lighthouse Family. Unbeknownst to them, at that exact moment, Walters, Vernon, Foster and Wakiwaka were similarly belting out the big notes of Carly Ray Jepson. Only in victory do we earn the right to hammer out a capella versions of piss poor pop pieces. So here's to an unfocussed rendition of Robbie Williams' Angels this Saturday at 4pm.
5) Sliding Doors would have been better if it had starred Gordon rather than Gwynneth Paltrow
Gordon Baker writes...
While we Woks are a fairly modest lot, I thought I might mention a mini piece of history. Haileybury's dining hall (in which the 1st XI ate post-game on Saturday while Foster perved on underage netball players) was designed by the same man who designed our war cloister at Winchester. My great grandpa. And if he hadn't done that (including meeting with 69 Wykehamist officers in Amiens in 1917) my grandpa would not have gone there in 1918 and would not then have written to the headman in 1984 to ask for an interview with me and my bro, who just arrived from the wastelands of America. In which case we'd have ended up at Bradfield. And I wouldn't have written this email to you.