Old Wykehamist Football Club

Bake your chances

Woks beat Canterbury to reignite promotion push...

This was a game played next to a cereal field, under a flight-path and - after a combination of the latest cliffhanger in an increasingly popular North London sitcom, Piccadilly Line closures and the ref (a stunted doppelganger for Ricky Tomlinson), who waited in the changing rooms for forty minutes before deigning to work out where our pitch was - in an ever deepening, almost Scandinavian gloom.

Old Kings Scholars, while all perfectly competent, had nobody who was noticeably talented. Gradually, after our signature lacklustre start, we began to dominate, with most of the mayhem coming via the Vernon-Walters axis on our left. There was one moment of real quality: Fred swivelled like Stoichkov and hit a bouncing ball just past the post. But the rotund Canterbury keeper, though he spilt as many crosses as he caught, was making saves he shouldn’t have. That, a dubious decision to rule out a Vernon header, some erratic final balls and some wasteful finishing, meant that it wasn’t until the very end of the first half that the Old Woks earned a merited lead.

A free kick on the left, Binge put in another perfect dead ball, and, inevitably, Gordon jumped highest and glanced it in at the far post.

1-0 at half-time, and we should have gone on and made things comfortable. But as the light deteriorated, so did our football, and the second half became an uncomfortable series of breaks which we had to hold up, balls which we had to put out of play, and throw-ins and corners which we had to defend. Only Milo’s indefatigable running down the right and Max’s uncanny ability to play one-man keepball on the left for minutes on end provided us with more than momentary respite.

As had happened during the Malvern debacle, perhaps the match’s most memorable moment involved a misdirected Underwood header. This time, as the ball flashed across our six yard box, he brained into the back of Waki’s head, and then waited until we’d broken down the field - just as Jones was, so he alleges, about to score - before squealing to the ref to stop play.

So, a bloody face and a messy second half. But, ahead of our massive visit to championship favourites Eton, we can take some real encouragement from a clean sheet and three pristine points.