Old Wykehamist Football Club

28/10/23: OWFC 3 - 1 Old Radleians

Our pursuit of the Arthur Dunn Cup kicked off in SO23 this year. Upwards of 7 fans and 3 Cocker Spaniels poured into Hunter Tent to witness a triumphant return to Doggers. It’s been 63 years of hurt with no AD trophy but you’d forgive any OWFC ultra for harbouring hope this year after a convincing win over first division peers, Radley, in the first round. 

The trains were running well from Waterloo on a glorious Autumnal morning and, despite alarm clocks not running so well for the entirety of the squad, the majority of us made it down in time to put an impressive warm-up together. 

Our starting formation was structured to allow Mikey Hodnett to basically do whatever he wanted. Floating in from the right wing, dropping in deep to get the ball and meandering high up the pitch, he was the principal creator throughout the first half. With deep-sitting banks of 4 and 3, we allowed Radley to have possession up to the half-way line and sprung traps. James Essex and Gus Morse ran channels very well, and it was through Essex’s hard work down the right that our first goal came. Harassing the hapless Radleian left back, Essex won the ball and looked up to see Messi Mikey on the edge of the box. With the cross floated to the top of the D, time stood still as Mikey got airborne and horizontal. A side-on aerial volley with his right (wrong!) foot flew into the bottom right corner. Is there anything this boy can’t do? 

Radley seemed to pull their finger out for the remaining 15 mins of the first half. They decided they were a better team and began shouting hurtful things such as ‘these lads are not good - let’s beat them, chaps’ and ‘they’re just a route one team’. Little did they know, calling Winchester a route one team only lights a Lou Chatterley spark in all of us. We sat in deeper and hit channel balls. Vintage stuff. 

Ben Stevens and Alex Dawkins, towering above Radley forwards like giant inflatable wacky waving tubes, won literally (almost) every header. They were keystones in a resilient back 4 that included debutant Hugo Barnes and Paddy Lloyd. Radley threatened repeatedly, but we could not be broken down. The heroics of the first half culminated in a world class save from MoM Will Whitehead, diving down to his right to get fingertips on a neat strike from the edge of the box - one of many match-winning contributions from the young GK. 

Half time brought rain, a rousing speech from injured captain Lekan Olagunju, and agreement that we would score more goals now that we’d be shooting downhill toward the river Itchen. Radley continued to enjoy some ‘good’ possession, albeit in unthreatening areas of the pitch. The tenacious Tom Goulding was the trigger for our second goal. Gathering a blocked shot from the edge of our box, he fizzed a curling ball down the left channel for Essex to charge on to. The machine-like Essex just had to copy and paste what he’s been doing for a decade in OWFC blue, taking the ball past the defender on his left and poking the ball under the keeper before wheeling away hooting and hollering. There was some murmuring that the dubious goals panel should investigate this as an OG, but we simply don’t have the capacity nor backbone to challenge James on the matter. He moves to 6 for the season. 

It was almost 3 soon after, when Paddy Sutton started a slick move off from within his own half. A quick one-two before a lovely switch of play to the back post for Gus Morse. Morse squared it back for Sutton who was arriving on the edge of the six-yard box, only to concurrently shin and toe poke the ball just wide of the corner flag. A horrified Sutton Junior, aged 5 (and a half), on the sideline gave him a dressing down at match tea over an apple juice. 

The third did eventually come with about ten minutes to spare. Fergus Brant, who has settled in very nicely to the OWFC high life, was the maker this time. Having already covered every blade of grass on Doggers, Brant found himself driving at their LCB in the area before Cruyff turning and laying on a crash ball for the advancing Gus Morse. Morse said “thanks very much, I’ll take my 66th goal for OWFC” and slammed it home whilst offering meats to the Radley keeper. “Not bad for a route one side!” jeered the quick-witted Matt Black who was running the line and thinking about how to structure his match report. 

It was a happy day all round, tarnished only by tweedle Dawkins and tweedle Stevens gifting away their clean sheet in stoppage time. Irony reared its ugly head, as the Radley GK launched a route one punt down the pitch. Stevens missed his header for the first time in the match and the unsuspecting Dawkins couldn’t sweep up the bouncing ball; allowing the opposition striker to poke home over the advancing Whitehead. Self-flagellation ensued. But it didn’t matter! It’s the magic of the cup and we’re into the second round, where we’ll face Chigwell away on December 16th. See you there. 


Team: W. Whitehead, P. Lloyd, H. Barnes, A. Dawkins, B. Stevens, T. Goulding, M. Black, F. Brant, M. Hodnett, J. Essex, G. Morse, P. Sutton, T. Oshai, L. Olagunju

MoM: W. Whitehead